THE CHILD FOR LIFE SYNDROME
 
 
 

Although it’s possible that some people might be hesitant to acknowledge the syndrome, no matter how much evidence they’re given, because of a terminology disagreement. Some may not like the use of the word “child” in the celebrity comparison, not to mention in the syndrome’s name, believing that any person, no matter how physically immature, should be classified as an adult as long as they’re at least 18 years old, or 21, or whatever. But even these people can’t argue that nothing is going on. Those skeptical of the syndrome’s existence because they choose to classify physically immature people like Orlando Bloom and Natalie Portman as adults need to ask themselves some questions. Questions such as: can I see any physical maturity difference at all between those classified as adults and those classified as children in the celebrity comparison? Are the people born before 1966 identical in terms of physical maturity to those born after 1975, or is there a difference? Can I see any maturity difference at all between a 26 year old Julia Roberts and a 26 year old Kate Hudson? Or between a 25 year old Ben Affleck and a 25 year old Ashton Kutcher? Are extremely physically immature 30 year old males, males who look like Ryan Seacrest, more or less common now than they were 10 or 20 years ago? Are there more or less young alpha males and females now than there were 10 or 20 years ago? The two groups are so far apart physical maturity-wise that regardless of how people choose to define adulthood it seems impossible that there’s anyone who won’t be able to recognize at least some difference. And if you can see a physical maturity difference, then you can see the syndrome. To not be able to see any physical maturity difference whatsoever a person would have to be incredibly unobservant.

With the syndrome’s existence proven beyond any doubt, and most of the issues involving the syndrome already looked at, there are just a couple of things left to discuss. The syndrome’s affect on society, and what we need to do to stop the syndrome.

A significant chunk of this essay has been spent focusing on the size of the syndrome’s affect on the individuals in society, but how does the syndrome affect society as a whole? Well, for one thing, after a while there will no longer be anyone fit to play certain roles in movies and TV. Imagine “Braveheart” with the lead role being played by Tobey Maguire or Jared Leto. That’s a whole different movie. But outside of the world of movies and TV it’s hard to say how the syndrome changes society. Children can still work jobs, pay taxes, and they can still reproduce, so there’s no reason to think that civilization will crumble. However, just because children can work jobs doesn’t necessarily mean that they can perform as well as adults at the most mentally challenging jobs, like jobs involving science and technology. Maybe the syndrome’s victims are not just physically immature, but they also suffer some kind of mental underdevelopment. Logically, it seems like a possibility - the brain is just a part of the body. And if this were true the syndrome would clearly have a significant impact on society. Not an impact that would destroy society, but one that would certainly hurt out progress and maybe even lower our standard of living. But if there is no mental side to the syndrome, and the affect is purely physical, then as long as the children for life are physically strong enough to work all types of manual labor jobs, lifting boxes in warehouses, etc, society should remain essentially unchanged. Business as usual.

Business as usual, except for the fact that almost every actor and actress, musician, accountant, mail carrier, etc, will be so physically immature that they don't, or shouldn't, even qualify as an adult. There may only be one affect of the syndrome on society, but it’s one that we’re guaranteed - that it will all look, and feel, weird. And as time goes on and the years pass by, society will only look and feel weirder and weirder. A 26 year old child is a strange sight, but the sight of a 60 year old child will be even worse. Lines and wrinkled skin over the facial structure of a child. At that age the children for life will look a lot like teenage actors and actresses when they wear elaborate make-up in order to play the role of a senior citizen. From an economic, standard of living point of view this affect might be irrelevant, but a world run by children is so odd that it seems like it has to have an affect on some societal level.

And last but not least, how do we stop the syndrome, anyway? The answer is, of course, by eliminating the cause of the syndrome. This won’t help the victims who are already past the age when people stop physically maturing, but it will prevent new cases from developing. To eliminate the cause, governments will have to stop the sale and force the recall of the offending product, eliminate the offending pollutant, or end whatever other practice might be to blame. But no government is going to make any sort of drastic move unless both the syndrome and its cause have been scientifically proven beyond any doubt. Some scientist somewhere in the world is going to have to take a look at this whole situation and figure things out. If the human eye can recognize the huge structural difference between the face of an adult and the face of a child, then maybe so can a computer program. Proving that the syndrome exists might not be that difficult. Finding the syndrome’s cause seems like a much more complex task, but hopefully someone is up to the challenge. Scientists have a big job ahead of them, but thankfully, the job of everybody else is easy. All that’s required of the rest of us is to know, and to acknowledge, that the syndrome exists. That’s it. Don’t pretend not to the notice the physical immaturity of these young people. Enough people openly talking about being able to see the syndrome might motivate one or two people in the scientific community to give things a look.

Make sure that you don’t keep your awareness of the syndrome to yourself out of a fear of offending these old children, either. This fear is one more reason that people might resist acknowledging the syndrome. Many people have a strong reluctancy to be insulting, and saying that a 28 year old female still looks like a child might be looked at by some as an insult. The idea that something is causing young people to start puberty earlier than ever is one that's very easy for people to accept, despite the fact that the evidence supporting this theory is shakey at best, because it doesn't insult anyone, but the idea that something is preventing people from completing the process of physical maturation is more difficult for people to accept because many may see it as insulting. But this situation is much too important to keep quiet about because you're worried that you'll hurt somebody's feelings. Deep down, on some level, the victims of the child for life syndrome are all well aware of the syndrome's existence, anyway. Many of them have known for a long, long time. Some like to refer to themselves as men and women, which I always find extremely cute, but at their core they don’t believe it for a second. Even the syndrome victims who have never seen themselves on video tape have seen themselves in a mirror. And ultimately, the victims can handle hearing the truth. They can handle being called a child. I know I can. Hey, I even wrote the book on the subject.